


Love in Theory and Practice

by moiradeathwidow



Category: HIM (Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Funny, Gen, HIM - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-04-07 10:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moiradeathwidow/pseuds/moiradeathwidow
Summary: They do not have anything in common; well, except for chain smoking, allergies, sushi and making a living out of theories. The story of what ifs including an overall cynic, a grumpy asthmatic and a stalker cat.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted last 2017 when the band announced their farewell tour. The idea had made my brain its home for the longest time now and I had to give up to its whims eventually. Usual disclaimer: I do not own anything nor personally know the characters included here. Also, this story does not include love at first sight nor any unrealistic cheesy one liners (almost).

Prologue

Helsinki 2017

 

I would have known that voice anywhere.

_I twist and turn, in your arms swirl_

_The dizzier I get, the clearer I see_

_With you I’m at peace with the war within.._

I made my way through the crowd, joining the pressing bodies of hundreds of people communing to celebrate the music of love, pain, longing. I blindly followed his voice: beckoning, teasing, loving, hurting as he sang his words over a once nameless hum.

I imagined him lost in his art, just as I was lost in this unfamiliar crowd.

_Lo and behold baby_

_These are the things you made me do_

_Katherine wheel, I’m burning for you._

_Please don’t stop, until my heart no longer screams_

I found myself in front of his stage. Him, holding his microphone, crooning the words out loud as if mocking me and everything that could have been.

What fools we were then.

_Here I am_ , I wanted to scream. Here I am, as I promised. As  _you_ have promised me that day, while wearing that loop sided grin born of mischief and a little bit of regret.

_Katherine wheel_

_Katherine wheel_

His wandering eyes found mine. Against the blinding spotlight, he had, in some mysterious workings of fate, had found me. He smiled then, that too innocent smile that always held promise. 

_I’m burning for you_. 

I smiled back, the traitorous tears flowing unbidden down my cheek.

It was the most beautiful... and painful kind of freedom.


	2. Meetings and Cigarette Breaks

Helsinki, 2001

* * *

 

 

_“I never felt right being alone; sometimes it felt good but it never felt right...”_

I slammed the book shut, cursing the author for the nth time for the last hour. It had been a little parting gift from Erin. “Light reading”, she said rather cheekily as she handed me the book before I boarded my flight to Helsinki. It was a nice distraction I suppose, and I found myself absorbed; the main protagonist was rather misanthropic and occasionally spouting tender insights though some had hit much closer to home that I had to curse him under my breath more times than I could count. It had never been my intention to read the book as I found the cover rather gaudy but when you’re stuck in an airport in a foreign country with so many things going wrong, anything can be a distraction.

I arrived in Helsinki roughly 4 hours ago, in high spirits and a positive neuroticism my poor brain had incredibly mustered after a 20 hour flight, after the frantic last minute lectures and appointments cancelation, guilt tripping from my department boss and the disgusting positivity from my friend Erin. All just to get away as soon as possible from the sunny California to the apparently cold Finland. Two hours in, and I was already making plans on getting another flight back home. The supposed rep from my new job who would be meeting me was nowhere in sight; no one waiting with a sign with my name on it as I had envisioned it, nothing. I called in and was told there were last minute changes and someone else would be coming to pick me up. I faked graciousness through gritted teeth and had almost slammed the phone back to the receiver if not for the elderly lady behind me, eyeing me like she was concerned I’ll set the payphone on fire.

I found myself gazing stupidly through the glass wall in front of me and into the darkness (4pm and already dark out. _Finland_ ), trying to come up with a better plan to bring order back to my life and not to dwell too much on recent events. Our department head wasn’t too happy with the prospect of me taking up the visiting professor post in the renowned Helsinki Institute of Technology but had relented, citing my need to take some time off. Erin, esteemed professor of astrophysics as well as my colleague and only friend, had come barrelling to my office as soon as she heard and announced, “But it’s cold in there!” which was a fact and not something of a death sentence, as I later pointed out to her. She just rolled her eyes at me, any arguments she might have tossed aside, called theoretical physicists insane in general and joined me for lunch.

“Dr. Zakia Weil?”

I was startled from my thoughts and looked up to see a distinguished looking middle-aged man in a grey tweed suit standing in front of me. I simply nodded in response and visibly relaxing, the man offered me a warm smile and introduced himself. “My name is Dominik Adan, head of the Nuclear Sciences division with HIT”. He held out his hand. “I apologize for the delays, the sudden arrangements had us all scrambling.”

My temporary boss had come to pick me up. Color me surprised.

I hurriedly stood up and took his hand for a firm handshake. “Thank you for personally meeting me here, Dr. Adan. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all ours, Dr. Weil”, he said cordially. “It’s not everyday we’ll have the youngest Isaac Newton medal recipient as a visiting professor.” As an after thought, his cordial smile vanished and he regarded me kindly. “My condolences as well, your father was a fine and brilliant man. We used to work together a few years back when I visited the US and kept correspondence throughout the years. Truly, science suffered a great loss.”

I gave him a nod of acknowledgement and a quiet thank you as I gathered my bags. He seemed to understand my hesitation with the topic and insisting to help with some of my luggage, he made light conversation as we head towards the exit. I was internally grateful; the subject of my father’s death was one of the few things I could not handle well as I recently learned.

“Anyway, have you checked on the recommendations we provided for your accommodations during your stay?”, he asked as we stepped out into the cold... afternoon/ night. That would take some getting used to.

I stopped at my tracks, remembering that with the short notice provided for the visiting professor post and my insistence to get to Finland as soon as I can, I have not been able to make the proper arrangements in regards with my stay. The invitation was good for at least a year and proper housing was one of the basics I could have worked with HIT before my arrival. My father... my father used to take care of these details ever since I got my PHDs at 16 and started traveling for lectures. He used to insist on doing it for me, citing I was growing up too fast and he may not be able to do it sooner or later. He was right, damned too right it was sooner.

I was surprised at the heaviness in my chest and the tears threatening to fall. For the first time, my boss back in UCLA might be right. That I might need to grieve. My hands started to shake.Whether due to the cold or the sheer helplessness of my situation, I would never know.

“About that...”, I started, looking away and unsure on what to say. “Uhm.. maybe a hotel.. or…the university dorms…?"

Dr. Adan waited for my definite answer, and I was too embarrassed to continue, really not knowing what to say. I caught a glimpse of my reflections in the glass doors of the airport, surprised that stripped with all the confidence I had with my achievements and out of my element, I just looked like… me. A twenty three year old girl with unkept hair and wearing big glasses, in too much winter clothes, standing in a foreign country, looking lost and sad and a tad miserable. I was ready to bolt out or probably have my first mental breakdown right there and then, when I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Dr.Adan looking at me with an expression I often see on my father’s face – the unexpected understanding and kindness.

“It’s alright”, he assured me, the unsaid _child_ lingering in there somewhere. “The term wouldn’t start until August and there will be plenty of time to make the proper arrangements”. He regarded me thoughtfully. “If you do not have any appointments set for tonight, you can join me for dinner at my sister’s house. She’s a great cook, and a good homemade Finnish dinner could put things in a better perspective”.

He knew all too well that I do not have any appointments judging with how I reacted earlier though he was very kind to offer. With nowhere to go, and the thought of homemade dinner someplace warm.  Lest things turned out to be worse, at least I get to eat dinner. Also, with all the waiting and the drama I had to endure, the habit I tried to curb successfully for the past few months had reared its ugly head again.

My face broke into an unsure but genuine smile I probably had in the.. years. The gesture alone hurt my face. “Thank you, Dr. Adan. But, uh, where can I smoke first?”


	3. Home

We hailed a cab outside the airport, just as when light snow was falling. Everywhere I looked was covered in snow, which made me feel like inside one of those miniature snow globes. It added to the appeal I suppose; having grown up in California, I was not prepared with the harsh coldness of Helsinki in early January, despite the multi layered winter clothes I was wearing. The cab ride was shared in companionable silence, with Dr Adan asking me about the recent scientific journal I have infamously disproved as well as the current paper I was working on every now and then. I liked the man - he stayed within safe subjects and did not force any conversations. For once, I was in my element again. We were travelling to Oulunkylä, a neighbourhood here in Helsinki and where his sister lives, as from what I've gathered from Dr Adan. He was pointing to local landmarks we passed as to give me a little overview, welcoming me to the city.

The temperature was getting steadily lower when we reached our destination in the quieter part of the neighbourhood of Oulunkylä. We stopped in front of a small two-storey house and we made our way through a path that has been cleared off snow. All the while, I was there looking miserable in the cold, my teeth already chattering like mad just being less than a minute outside and my glasses starting to fog up. He rang the doorbell and as we waited, my gaze fell into some kind of furry creature sitting idly on top of the wall nearest us. Its gaze was eerily fixed on me and its tail slowly wagging behind it. I couldn’t help but stare at it as well, realizing it's tabby cat when my eyes adjusted in the darkness. Those green eyes were unblinking, making me feel like it was hunting me or sizing me up. Creepy cat.

The door opened and I turned to face the owner of the house who happened to be a matronly woman with auburn hair pulled back in a bun, the smell of pastry and sugar trailing behind her. She greeted Dr. Adan with a gleeful "Dominik!" before giving him a peck in the cheek and probably commenting if he was eating properly (I only picked up bits and pieces in Finnish, thanks to the crash course I had in the plane). I chanced a glance to see if the cat was still determining if I am worthy to be alive or not, but I was not surprised to find it gone.

" _Nővér_ , I'd like you to meet Dr. Weil, she's one of the visiting professor we have for this year in the Institute”, Dr. Adan introduced me and added, a tad proudly, "Quite brilliant, I might add".

I had the sense to look embarrassed and Dr. Adan's sister gave me a once over, probably taking pity on a miserable, shivering youngster in too much winter clothes on. " _Todella? Mutta hän on niin nuori..."_ , she said absently as she regarded me thoughtfully. As if remembering, she hurriedly said in English, "Ah! Where are my manners? Come inside, come inside. It's getting too cold out".

We were ushered inside the cozy interiors, with actual fire logs merrily crackling from a fireplace in the living room. She helped me with my coats and scarves and led us to the seats near the fire. I sat in the chair closest to it, thankful for the warmth.

"Oh, I haven't properly introduced myself.", Dr. Adan's sister said, as she was tucking and folding my scarves, "Dominik didn't say anything about bringing in a guest but this is a very pleasant surprise. We don't have much guests nowadays, except for those reporter people every now and then and young women milling outside even in this cold weather...", she trailed off, absentmindedly glancing towards the living room window, probably checking if there were still indeed young women standing about in the cold, for what reasons I cannot fathom.

"My name is Anita. Anita Valo", she said warmly and her hands were equally warm, as she reached out for a handshake.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Valo."

"Oh, I like her, Dominik!", she laughed and covered both my hands with hers.

"It's still presently Mrs. Valo, dear. Mr. Valo is somewhere in the house, probably fixing something that doesn't need any fixing".

* * *

 

Dinner was a comfortable affair. Mrs. Valo fussed over me, remarking for three times in a row that I should eat a lot to put some meat back to my bones. Mr. Valo was more solemn and quieter than his wife, and asked me polite questions on my field of studies; my doctorate degrees in physics and applied mathematics seemed to impress him. He asked me how I was finding Helsinki so far; I admitted I felt a bit lost but determined that the people were friendly and warm, in which I believed he approved.

Mrs. Valo filled my plate with _Kaalilaatikko_ , a cabbage casserole and gave me a big bowl of _Kalakeitto_ , a fish stew when she learned I was yet to try Finnish cuisine. The food were delicious and I had commented on it rather earnestly, which made Mrs. Valo tut tut adoringly and Dr. Adan looking on like a proud father. In short, the dinner appeared to be a success with me surviving my first social gathering with the Finns.

As we moved to desert ( _Mustikkapiirakka_ , a blueberry pie, with vanilla ice cream), the topic of my accommodations in Helsinki was brought up.

"So, Dr. Weil", Mr. Valo started, rather formally, "Dominik here have mentioned that you are still looking for a place to stay?"

I paused midway of putting a large spoonful of the blueberry pie into my mouth, trying to think of the best excuse. Maybe hotel or something? I can still catch a cab right?

I put down my spoon to say something clever from the top my head but Mrs. Valo beat me to it.

"Oh, Kari. We cannot expect a young woman her age to just wander around the city!", she said rather dramatically.

I was surprisingly not offended by that comment and I opened my mouth to reassure her but she turned to face me and said, "I know it's a bit sudden and you haven't known us for long, but you can stay here with us, if you like. You are Dominik's guest after all in this country and our sons have their own places now, the house is large and we got spare bedrooms you can use while you get settled in Helsinki."

Dr. Adan, uncertainty written across his face, answered her, "Your offer is very kind, Anita but Dr. Weil needs to work on her research. She might prefer a different environment, perhaps something closer to the institute?" He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to support his argument.

"Uhm...", for all the glory of my supposed brilliance, was all I could come up.

"Well", Mr Valo interjected, "Anita is right. You can stay here with us, Dr. Weil while you find a more suitable housing in the city, if you like of course". He also added: "It would be our pleasure to be a host to a brilliant young woman such as yourself".

I weighted the pros and cons of the options offered to me. Staying in a hotel promised privacy but the costs would be too much for my allowance, I don't know anyone yet and short of asking Dr. Adan to chaperone me throughout the city, I would need some guidance as I'm terrible with directions. Also, I liked the Valos. I liked the food. It also felt nice to stay in a home, albeit not mine, even for a short while.

I cleared my throat and carefully, "I wouldn't want to impose but if you'll have me, I'll gladly accept".

The Valos looked pleased at that, even more so Mrs. Valo that she added more blueberry slices on my plate. Dr. Adan looked relieved.

Well, what do you know, my stay in Helsinki might turned out to be not so bad after all.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...aaand sorry for all the build up! It gets better I swear.
> 
> nover = big sister  
> Todella? Mutta hän on niin nuori = really? but she is so young


	4. On Meetings in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the cat.

I was not a superstitious person, and didn’t have plans to become on one in the near future. Between finishing dinner and Dr. Adan leaving shortly afterwards (giving me his home and office number just in case), I was starting to feel like everything had ended up being too _smooth_ , too good to be true for my taste. It felt the beginning of a real life example of Murphy's Law - if there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it. With what will be causing the catastrophe, that will be the unknown. Unknowns made my brain itch.

So I was in a rather pensive mood when Mrs Valo lead me to one of the rooms upstairs, which previously belonged to his eldest son. The room was.. interesting and appeared to be unused for quite sometime. There were posters of musicians hanging on almost all corners of the room, some I recognized due to Erin’s rather eccentric tastes in music and clothes – she being a fan of 80s music that she had sported shirts with different musicians all the time. There was a rather unique lamp on top of the side table; it was shaped like those la muerte skulls with what appeared to be some kind of pentagram etched on its forehead. I continued my survey of the room, quite out of my element as the previous owner appeared to be someone dedicated to the occult, arts and music. There was also a vinyl player and records piled up in one corner and the small desk by the window contained torn pages of notebook, music sheets and sketches on subject that appeared to be psychedelic.

The bed was pushed up against the corner of the room and there were pictures taped to that side of the wall. I approached to study them closer: they were pictures of a lanky teenage boy with short dreads (I remember Erin sporting that same hairstyle years ago), probably the eldest son, judging from one of the pictures where he was holding a bass guitar in the same room I was standing in now. There were others taken from what appeared a dingy bar where he and most likely his friends were playing onstage; another with a pretty girl, both holding a beer. Pretty much normal teenage life, which I slightly envied him for. 

"Ah, that's my eldest, Ville".

I was a bit engrossed with studying the taped pictures that I didn't notice Mrs Valo entering the room, holding fresh bed covers. She began changing the bed sheets and continued, motioning towards the pictures, "Ville.. he always had a soft spot for music, that boy. He's rather successful now, I think. Perhaps you've heard of him and his friends? They go by the name, His Internal - or was it- Infernal Majesty?"

I shrugged at that, unfamiliar with the name.

"They're traveling Europe now, promoting their music. Always on tour these past few years...", she trailed off, almost wistfully. I sat at the edge of the bed and watched her move about the room, tidying up things as she went. "We have always been proud of our boys", she continued, proceeding to sit on the bed as well beside me as she fold the scattered clothes she collected. "Jesse, that's Ville's younger brother, was into music as well but found his calling with boxing. He's always sporting a broken nose or a black eye when he comes home, back when he was a teenager". She laughed at the memory. "But I'm glad that they are now both doing something they are passionate about. Though Ville's still disappointing his father by not getting his professional driver's license". Another soft laughter.

"Well, your sons are very lucky to have you as parents, Mrs. Valo", I commented politely.

She beamed at that. "Your parents must be so proud of you as well, with your achievements at such a young age."

I held back a retort to the comment; Mrs Valo was too nice for my sarcastic barbs, which I usually reserved for patronizing interviews. I decided to settle with honesty, seeing that I might be starting a new life here in Finland.

"I wouldn't know", I mumbled. "I never knew my parents; Dr Weil adopted me when I was eight and took me to America. He... he passed away recently.”

Her eyes widened in shock as she apologized hurriedly, "Oh, édesem ... I'm so sorry”.

"No, it's okay, Mrs Valo. There’d be no way that you would know", I reassured her, offering a rather awkward smile, " And yes, I hope he's proud of me too though hopefully not too worried, wherever he is now."

She reached for my hand then and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I would not say that I can understand what you're going through right now, but if there is anything you need, anything at all, just let me know, hmm?"

Seeing the look of expectation on her face, I just said "Thank you" and gave her hand a tentative, little squeeze in return.

It seemed to be the right thing to do as she seemed to be satisfied with that. Picking up the empty beer bottles from under the bed, she walked towards the door while surveying the room and announced, "So, it's now a bit liveable. Just let me know if there's anything you need, édesem, we're just across the hall. " And as an afterthought, she looked back to me from the doorway and gestured to the exposed cigarette packs on my open backpack, "There's also an ashtray under the bed." She gave me subtle wink and closed the door behind her.

Finally alone, I heaved a sigh of relief and approached the window. I opened it a bit further and looked outside the quiet neighbourhood, taking in the serenity of the scene before me. The light snow blanketed the roof tops and with the light pouring through the windows contrasting the night, the view looked like a breath taking Hallmark Christmas greeting card. I leaned outside, the cold a bit tolerable now, and I noticed some old cigarette butts littering the window sill. Encouraged, I lit a cigarette and let the nicotine do its wonders. _This isn’t so bad; a nice view, cigarette on hand, nice people, a nice job. I just need to work on my social skills a bit more, oh alright, a LOT more. Accepting you have a problem is one step to acceptance and recovery. Whatever happe-_

I was cut off from my internal monologue when I heard a soft and suspiciously like mewling somewhere down below. I tried to find the source and saw the same tabby cat from earlier, sitting idly on a wall across the window. Its unblinking eyes, like before, was fixed on me.

Unnerved, I checked to make sure no other human beings were around and I called out to it (which in no way rational), “Hey, cat. What do you want?"

I got a soft, long meow in return, possibly it answering my question.

"I don't speak cat", I said helplessly.

As if on queue, it stood up and began pacing back and forth, occasionally glancing at me as if to see if I'm still watching.

I eyed it suspiciously, and taking a long drag from my cigarette, I said conversationally, "Look, I don't know what you're up to but if you're thinking that I'm gonna adopt you, sorry buddy, that ain't gonna happen."

It stopped its pacing and looked up to me again; not meowing, not doing anything but just studying me intently.

"I'm allergic to dander, if you must know. That's from your saliva".

Stare. A soft yawn.

"You'll freeze to death if you just stay there", I volunteered. "Go find a lady cat friend or something".

Stare.

"Fine, have it your way then. Just don't haunt me as a cat ghost if you die or something".

I turned away from the window, stubbing my cigarette on the ashtray I fished under the bed. It's when I noticed that the ivory ashtray was shaped like a very busty, very naked lady; the details lovingly etched to give anyone a crash course on female physique.

Lovely. That Ville fellow sure is a connoisseur of female aesthetics.

I laid down in bed, suddenly aware of how tired and sore my body was. My brain though was on a roll and already making a schedule of things to do: _get a board, check emails from my postdoc research students, go back to my computations, send an email to Erin to let her know I’m not dead, find proper housing, check on how to avoid my glasses from fogging up all the time.._ And as I was drifting to sleep, I imagined I saw a pair of laughing green eyes.

* * *

 

I woke up feeling a little disoriented to the darkened room. My glasses were nowhere to be found, probably knocked off from my face from all the tossing and turning I must have done while sleeping. As I was about to reach for the weird lamp to turn it on, I heard a shuffle of feet from somewhere in the room. Realizing that I was not alone, I willed myself to stay still, panic starting to build up from the pits of my stomach.

_Damnit, DAMNIT,! I knew it. I trust so easily, I should have run the hell out of the airport when I had the chance. I must have stumbled over a fake Dr Adan. Who in their right mind would invite a stranger over to their house to eat and then to stay. WITHOUT even checking my credentials. This must be one of those things I’ve heard about single women travelling alone in a strange country, then have their organs harvested! The real Dr Adan probably had called the police by now, searching for me. This will not go well with UCLA if I turned up dead, I haven't turned over the drafts for the quarks research and the grant money would be wasted on another university... They will probably haunt me in the afterlife._

I could hear the intruder shuffling about the room, footsteps rather heavy and I could hear.. soft hiccups? Punctuated with burps, every now and then.

_I got highly probable drunk person in here. Wait, WAIT. Or could this be where they get unsuspecting women and lock them up as.. sex slaves? Oh. OH. I need to get out of here, I don’t want to die a virgin but not like this. Or maybe, JUST maybe, this is really an intruder and Anita and Kari are in danger too? Anita is too nice, I have to help them -_

The heavy footsteps grew progressively louder and then there's an pained oaf! followed by what sounded like the vinyl records falling on the floor.

_So, he's trying to put on some music! Aha! Probably to drown the screams. Shit. I gotta get out here and warn the Valos. I can possibly use some self-defence moves I have read before, though the possibility of that being effective without practical application beforehand is slim to none... Yes, the window! If I can just fit myself in there, I can get away and warn Anita. The fall may not be deadly as there's some fresh snow that can cushion my fall. I just have to calculate how long this will take, between running to the window, that's around 3 meters then the probability of the window from opening without resistance.. it was bit stuck earlier when I tried to open it further.. so that's around 3 seconds minus the - ARGH!_

My sophisticated planning was interrupted as a dead weight pinned me down to the bed. The air was knocked out of me and I struggled to get out of the death trap. I could smell the stench of fermented alcohol rolling off in waves from above me, the sour stench of vomit and cigarettes making my eyes water.

I was preparing myself for an impressive scream but then there was a furious hiss, followed by the dead weight rolling off me and then came the most unmanly scream that might have been heard across Helsinki.

I felt relief as I found myself breathing again but was blinded for a moment when the lights came back on. I groped blindly for my glasses and found it under the pillow. I put it on and was greeted by a scene that to this day, I cannot describe into words... without laughing.

The first thing I noticed was the flurry of orange and gray ball hissing and clawing at the back of a man wearing a black beanie and a sleeveless shirt. The man was screaming something in Finnish and English, all of which I believed were colourful swear words from both languages. He was circling wildly around the room, desperately trying to reach his back to remove the angry ball of fur. I then noticed Mr and Mrs Valo, who probably came running from their room after hearing the godawful screaming, standing at the doorway, a look of horrified expression on their faces.

Realizing that I have to do something heroic at this point, I rushed into the scene and tried to pry away the ball of fur - which I realized was the tabby cat from the wall - _Why in seven hells is it here? And more importantly, was it sleeping at the bed? With me?_ Those questions though seemed irrelevant as the tabby cat was hanging for its dear life on the man's shirt. I had successfully pried him off after a fashion, but not before showering my face with a handful of cat fur and dander. It landed gracefully on its feet and gave us a menacing hiss before jumping out the window and disappearing like a thief in the night.

My reaction to such close proximity with the animal was instantaneous; my eyes grew itchy and my breath became shallow and wheezy. I was on all fours then, trying to reach my backpack to check my anti-histamine meds. I chanced a glance at the man, who was now sitting on the floor and back to the edge of the bed. Anita was frantically searching for something from the bedside table. Mr. Valo was nowhere in sight.

I finally found some Benadryl and popped it into my mouth, waiting for relief as the itchiness was getting worse and I was sneezing like mad. The man also appeared to be suffering an allergic reaction same as mine - his breathing shallow and face going red from the lack of oxygen. He took a long breath from the inhaler handed to him by Mrs. Valo and some of the redness from his face faded. I studied him, checking to see the extent of the injuries the tabby cat had inflicted. His arms, one which was heavily tattooed, were covered in small scratches.His beanie was nowhere to be found, probably thrown somewhere in the room from the struggle earlier. His messy long brown hair was now framing his face, and despite the red patches, flawless and symmetrical which was considered aesthetically pleasing to look at. His green, maybe grey? eyes were framed with heavy lashes and highlighted underneath by smudged black eyeliner. With _make up_ of all things.

He looked like a woman, more so than me.

I snickered at that. Unfortunately, it caught his attention and he directed those piercing eyes at me. His sweaty brows instantaneously furrowed in a scowl as our eyes met and he wheezed the majority of his angry question in Finnish, again with all the colourful swear words.

It did not take a genius to understand that. "I'm Za..Zakia”, I slightly wheezed in response. I tried to elaborate further but I was bombarded with a series of sneezing so bad I felt my eyes would pop out my head. Through all these sneezing, the man was still looking at me with irritation clear as the sunrise in his face. "And you are..?", I asked rather rudely.

Before he could retort to that, Kari came in, first aid kit on hand and positioned himself on the floor between me and the man to check my injuries. I assured him that I was fine but he seemed unconvinced, as my face was probably puffy and filled with angry red rashes.

"Can you care to explain...", I heard the man to no one in particular, his voice low and hoarse (probably from the screaming), " her... this.. the cat?" Though no longer in his view, I could feel the hostility rolling off of him in waves.

"Oh, that is Dr. Weil," came Mrs. Valo's reply, tone conversational. “She is an associate of Dominik's, from America and will be working with him. She's staying here as our house guest".

"And Zakia", my name rolled off her tongue as she called out to me. I craned my head to see them better; both were looking at me, the man still with scowl. I could not mistake the _shake hands and be friends_ tone apparent on her voice as she made her introductions.

"This is Ville, my son".

Of course. The teenage boy from the pictures would be all grown up now.

Well my glorified IQ does not work well in Finland, it seemed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> édesem - sweetie
> 
> So, how about it? Reviews are greatly appreciated so I would know what you think of this! Thanks for reading!


	5. First Impressions

I sat in the emergency room, staring stupidly at the glass wall in front of me, a reminiscent of what I was doing in the airport hours ago. I was persuaded to go; both Anita and Kari insisted that I should have myself checked as my rashes had escalated to angry red spots running down my arms. I looked worse than I felt, which I voiced out when the topic of a hospital was brought up. Anita was a nice woman, _too nice_ in fact that I couldn’t say no. My good side was immediately side tracked though when their son snorted in disbelief and annoyance at my display of bravado, immediately masking it as a coughing fit. Apparently, he decided to sleep at his parent’s house right after his band had arrived from Germany for their ‘tour’, citing he missed his mother’s cooking and ended up being mauled by a cat in his own bedroom. He looked quite well and calm for someone who survived the ordeal, but his parents insisted he come too, seeing he got the worse of the damages no matter how much he tried to appear nonchalant. He sported a sour look, surely unable to say no to his parent's reasonable request. I had to bite my cheek to keep from smirking, which he still caught on judging by the scowl he sent my way.

The emergency room bit was not as bad as I thought it would be. The procedures were fast and efficient and the ER itself was spacious and well lit, not something like it came out from horror movie with the screams and smell of death, which I was accustomed to back home. There’s an even less number of people too: a few strugglers from a drinking fiasco, some drunk people from a sauna, a couple of young men from a drunken brawl. It said a lot of the Finnish people and their love of drinking, as stereotypical as it sounded. At least to the population of the ER at that moment.

My companion however was not entranced as I was. He was sitting a couple of seat away from me, arms crossed and face on a perpetual frown. He was waiting to be called on for his quick checkup and the Valo couple was nowhere in sight, leaving me in an awkward silence (or so for me) with their son. He was wearing his beanie again, this time worn too low it was almost covering his eyes. He also had a black coat on, covering the ruined shirt, and he got a purple scarf wrapped around his neck. He was ignoring me, which I was thankful for. At least I didn’t have to flaunt my sterling social skills, as limited as it is.

With nothing better to do and tired of staring blankly at the darkness outside, I started reciting the values of Pi. I stopped at the 345 value, bored, and started putting together the mathematics for the theory I was working on, all in the safety of my head.

“Will you please stop doing that?”, an annoyed whisper catapulted me back, just when the flow and the balance of my equations were starting to make sense.

“Huh?”, I blinked and found myself staring at Ville Valo’s reflection in the glass wall, him glaring at me from his seat. I turned to face him and didn’t notice that he had moved closer to my seat, probably to hear better what I was saying. "What did I do?”, I whispered back.

His brow furrowed even deeper and said matter of factly, “You’ve been staring at me for half an hour now and muttering.. it’s quite unnerving.”

I frowned at that. “What? Why would I stare at you?

He studied me for a second, an incredulous look on his face. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Well, if you _must_ know”, I snapped. I was minding my own business here and this guy was just being so vague. “I was thinking of important things. Beautiful things.”

“Oh?”, he intoned back, his eyebrow raised up in an arc. “What important things?”

I shrugged and maybe a bit patronizingly, said “You won’t understand”.

“Really.” He seemed to consider me for a moment and slowly leaned towards me, like in a pretend conspiratorial whispered. There was wicked gleam in his eyes. I leaned away involuntarily as far as I can. “Does it include me?”, he whispered, voice low and teasing.

I just stared at him, confused. He blinked and then I felt my cheeks turn red as I finally caught on. Damn, I was slow for the uptake.

I crossed my arms and retorted, “Sorry to burst your bubble mister but I’m not interested.”

He grinned and leaned back to his seat. “Suit yourself. I’m not interested either. Just quit the staring and keep the muttering to yourself, sweetheart".

My face burned with embarrassment and I fought the urge to stick out my tongue, for the lack anything witty to say back. Well there was one, “At least I didn’t scream like a girl”, I said mockingly. ‘Your mama’ a good follow up but I didn’t want to disrespect Anita like that.

It had the desired effect however. “Look, miss- ”, he began, eyes narrowed. 

He was not able to finish what could have been an angry diatribe as his name was called to go to one of the emergency room's cubicle. With a final scowl at my direction, he stomped towards the nurse’s station.

I had to stifle a triumphant laughter, realizing that I had at least got the last word, no matter how petty. It was short-lived though when I realized I shouldn’t have done that. I stared after his retreating back, thinking of ways to apologize to the man. After all, his parents were kind enough to offer me a place to stay for the night and it was not a fun experience being mauled by a cat while drunk. As I dwell on how to get to Ville’s good graces and salvage my reputation, the giggling and whispering behind me had been more pronounced. It had been going on for some time and I paid it no mind, but it became louder as soon as Ville’s name was called. I couldn’t help but listen in when I heard repeated instances of his name. I chanced a peek to the seats behind me and sure enough, a couple of teenagers (one of them with her arms in a cast) were looking at his direction and were in an animated whispering. Curious but not enough to approach giggling teenagers, I turned away and was about to resume my stare down with the wall when the front cover of some magazines piled up at the nearby coffee table caught my eye. Making sure no was watching and with all the nonchalance I could muster, I picked one up. Ta-da. The man I just saw get mauled by a cat and had perfected the art of scowling was looking back at me rather intensely from the front cover of a music magazine, beckoning me to drop my... something. Wow, this guy was really famous here. The closest I got for a magazine cover was with Physics Weekly, and that was with other scientists ‘under 30 to watch out for’. Erin had a cut out of it framed and hidden somewhere in my office, saying I need to document my achievements no matter how small it may seem so that when I win the Nobel Prize, I could have pictures for my auto biography.

It was my dream: the Nobel Prize. The thought of being acknowledged for my achievements, advancing the reaches of mankind... I already had a draft of the speech I wrote on a whim and I imagined myself standing in that podium. Everyone who mattered will be there and Erin would mostly likely be crying in joy from her seat (she was emotional like that). I would also have tears threatening to fall from my eyes to show I was overwhelmed (but not surprised) and that framed cut out tightly held against my chest, thanking my father’s support and the hardships I have to go through to be there..

I heard someone cleared their throat. I almost jumped up, realizing I was still in the waiting area, in the hospital in Helsinki. I looked up guiltily, and found Ville looking down at me, a funny expression on his face and his eyes fixed at the magazine clutched in my chest. Realizing his printed face was pressed against my... breasts, I hurriedly stood up and dropped the offending magazine like a bag of weed.

“Look, I...”, I stammered, and praying to all strings in the known universe to create a wormhole I could crawl into to get to another universe where I still have dignity.

He looked away and cleared his throat some more. “Let’s go. Mother is looking for you”, he said without looking at me. Not waiting for any response, he turned on his heel and walked away.

The giggling and whispering continued, hopefully not on my account.

Lets now add up mortified and stupid to the list of things I became when I stumbled out of the plane to the land of northern lights and sauna.

Clearly there’s something wrong with the water here in Helsinki.


	6. Welcome Home

_The light was blinding and the air up the stage was strangely humid, almost choking me. I suppose it's alright; it was after all, this is the night I have been waiting for my whole life._

_"Now," I heard the gentleman beside me announce, the volume of the microphone slamming me back to the present, "let me present the wonderful and highly estemeed physicist beside me. Not only did she revolutionised science in ways not seen since Einstein and the greats before him, she had made her father proud. Let's welcome, Dr. Zakia Weil!"._

_The faceless audience broke into a wild applause, some even giving me a standing ovation._

_I felt tears threatening to fall and in their blur, I found Father at the front row, smiling and applauding. My heart swelled up, and I felt a sense of happiness I haven't felt for a long time. It had been all worth, I told myself as I take my place behind the mic pedestal to speak to the audience._

_Someone came up and stood beside me. I couldn’t make out his face but in his hands was the most coveted gold medal, sitting regally inside the blue box. Its beautiful, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. I turned to thank the person and even before I can utter the words, I heard a somehow familiar voice whisper to me, "Now, you know how to say thank you hmm? Sweetheart."_

_I looked up and to my horror, I stared straight to those green eyes._

BANG! BANG!

"Hey, man! Open up!"

I scrambled up out of sleep, momentarily confused as to why I was slumped across the desk and my head cushioned on top of my notes. My laptop was half open, word processor containing a bunch of math even in my current state I know didn’t look right. I studied the room I was in, blearily looking around. Half opened boxes on the floor, numerous books piled up at a corner.

And the cold. _Too cold_.

Yep Finland, I reminded myself as I peel off a paper stuck to my cheek, vaguely aware that the incessant door pounding that woke me up had thankfully stopped. I let the paper fall back to the desk and leaned back to the wooden chair. What manner of person would have the need to visit me at... 1 in the morning, I would not know.

I moved to this apartment just a couple of weeks ago, with the help of the Valo couple. The apartment was recently vacated, or so it seemed, as many furniture were left behind such as the wooden desk and chair I was using. It had one bedroom, a cozy kitchen with recently painted white walls and a nice view of the snow covered courtyard from the large window, looking like a Hallmark card. The building itself looked a little run down, considering its history of being a workers' quarters back in 1920's, but had a lovely courtyard and few tenants; the fact that the rent was also cheaper compared to others didn't hurt either. The best part though was that the first floor was mostly unoccupied, except me and another tenant from across the hall who was either always away or a recluse or had died sometime I moved in. An added perk really. No need to worry on awkward hallway greetings or unwarranted welcome parties.

The Valo’s had helped me find this place (sans the son, whom I thankfully had not seen since that fateful night). They let me stay at their place for a few days and it had been a vacation of some sort. Anita was always preparing different homemade Finnish food for me to try and Kari was regaling me with some of the history of the city, driving me around so I can at least be familiar with my way around. They even accompanied me with purchasing new essentials. I didn't know if it was because they took pity of me being an orphan or because they see me as an extension of Dr Adan's professional life or just because they were good people. Either way, I was thankful.

"HEY MAN! OPEN UP! WHAT THE HELL!" came a bellow from outside my door, followed by a series of pounding intent on breaking the door down.

Blinking away the vestiges of sleep and feeling a little concerned on what sort of emergency warranted this late night knocking, I scrambled out of the desk and stumbled my way to the door. I swung it open and revealed a man my age with a goatee, wearing a beanie with the same insignia I saw back at the Valo house. His hand was clenched in a tight fist and was ready for another door poundinh but caught himself when I opened it. His face broke on a loop sided grin, immediately fading as he studied me.

Who are you?" he demanded, accent American and decidedly confused. He craned his head to peek past me inside the apartment.

"Hey, woah! Who the hell are you?!" I yelled, gesturing him to back off.

He raised both arms in surrender and backed off a few steps. He studied me up and down, brows raised. "Are you his... girlfriend?" he asked incredulously, as if the word is offensive.

"Wha- No", I scoffed, feeling somehow offended with the incredulity in his voice and having no idea who we were talking about.

"Just who the hell are you?"

"Bam!"

The door from across the hall was open and peering behind it was another guy with a nose ring and wearing- yet again- another beanie (whats up with the beanie?). His bomber jacket was moss green, which was weird that I noticed when I was trying to bar a man from entering my apartment. He looked confused as he studied us. "You got the wrong door", he directed to the stranger.

This 'Bam' guy's face broke into a huge grin and jumped across the hall, arms wide as he landed. "Mige!" he shouted in greeting. "Where is he?"

"He's here, passed out drunk",came a response from inside the apartment.

The guy with a nose ring opened the door a bit more to allow the 'Bam' person inside. I heard music from the slightly opened door and was assailed with rancid smell of cigarettes and beer to where I was standing. Must be some party.

Not wanting to attract anymore attention than what was necessary, I was about to go back in when I heard 'Bam'- "I thought all girls in Finland were hot? That one just look... miserable" followed by a hearty laugh.

Now, I dont have any illusions on how I look but being awakened at a godforsaken hour and then hearing a rude comment, it wont just fly by me. I stomped back out, ready for a verbal tirade, only to catch sight of 'Bam's back as he entered the apartment. My neighbor caught sight of me though and with a wince, muttered a quick apology without making eye contact. He followed his friend inside and hurriedly closed the door.

I had half the mind to cross the hall and pound on their door and take offense from the rude comment but I was a coward, so I just glared at the door instead. Realizing the door won’t burst into flames anytime soon, I gave up and went back into my apartment to contemplate what person I was becoming to be offended to such a superficial comment. Or if I really need a good night sleep.

Some welcome I got there.

\----------------------------------------------------

  
“… and so, this is the possibility that we are looking for.” I looked around my small audience and not surprisingly, everyone was listening hard.

“M- theory, as they would like to call it now,” I continued, “had been successful thus far with combining the current superstring theories we now have, including mine. And this, ladies and gentlemen, may be our glimpse into the future of physics. Thank you”.

Applause. A little reserved, but had potential. I was discussing my latest work with the current professors and physicist at the Institute, as one of my roles as a visiting professor. My reception had been surprisingly warm and welcoming, considering my age and recent papers disapproving a lot of scientific papers published by peers of these same audience. Erin had been too excited to hear that, well, excited about anything that may resemble me and any social interaction. Her concern of my non existent social life was touching and endearing, like I was her teenage daughter and worrying about my prospects of a normal adult life in the future. I received approximately 23 emails from her alone in the first 3 days I stayed in Finland, all asking the same question in different ways: have I already mamaged to burn Helsinki to the ground?

I was yet to send her a response. Let her squirm a little.

“Dr. Weil?”

I looked up from the papers I was shuffling to a tall, bespectacled man, and wearing a charming smile. I couldn’t remember him being one of the faculty members nor were we introduced before. But judging from the fresh-faced youth aura I was getting, he was possibly a post graduate student looking for research. He faintly reminded me though of those men in the covers of the thrashy romance novels Erin loved so much.

“Sorry for startling you”, he said with a sheepish grin and a mild European accent. “But, I must say that your lecture and the clarity which you delivered them... it was enlightening and well-informed”.

I gave him a tight smile. Must they all start with the flattery before getting to the point. “Thank you, Mr…?”

“Oh, _oui_. I apologize. I’m Paul. Paul Clair”. He extended his hand.

I took it and it was surprisingly warm.“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Clair. Anything I can do for you?”

“Uh, _non_.” Another sheepish grin. “ I just wanted to congratulate you with your lecture, nothing more”

I nod and mumbled a quiet thank you. I shoved my papers inside my bag, excused myself and proceeded towards the exit.

“Dr. Weil!”

Exasperated, I turned around and waited for him to catch up. He still got sheepish smile in place. What does he want?

“Uh, I know that you may be busy… but uh…”, he lowered his head and rubbed the back of his neck. I tried to keep my face blank as I wait for him to finish whatever he wanted to say. He gave a nervous laughter and looked back at me, his face a bit flushed.

“Yes?”, I tried to keep my annoyance from showing from my tone. “Are you looking to do some research work under my wing? Unfortunately –“

“Ah no!”, he interjected. Another nervous laughter. “I am a visiting professor as well, you see..and uhm, I was just hoping to ask you out for coffee, perhaps? That is, if you’re not busy…”

“I’m afraid I –“, I stopped short. “Why?”, I asked as it’s the most logical thing that I could ask.

He seemed to be quite taken aback from the question but recovered himself immediaty. “Well, I know this might sound too forward but... I have been following your published works for years now, and I think they are absolutely brilliant… and seeing you now in person, I think you’re lovely as well… and both of us are foreigners here, no? We could have a _tête-à-tête_ over coffee, if that’s okay with you?”, he ended with a smile.

Well that was.. interesting. What do you say in such situation? In all of my 23 years of existence I had never been subjected before in such a social conundrum. A cup of coffee? That was lovely. Talking to a total stranger who could be a possible intellectual match and who was attractive enough for me to reference against Erin’s sordid romantic novels? That was just… mildly distubing.

I realized I have been staring at him and he was waiting patiently for an answer.

“I…uh..”

I ran.

\------------------------------------

  
“You did WHAT?!”

I winced as Erin’s screech was probably heard across the Pacific. I finally responded to her incessant emails the following day from my running episode with a certain Paul Clair and she called me up at my office. It turned out that he was indeed another visiting professor and was a rising star among experimental physicists at the tender age of twenty six. He was also popular among the female population in the Institute – both the students and faculty alike. I could constantly see him now everywhere on campus, and luckily, our paths never seemed to cross. I realized what I did was a bit rude, but I would happily roll over the ground before I apologize.

“I did run.. what am I supposed to do?”

“Well, I dunno, maybe like any other normal people would do, say.. DO NOT RUN AND ACTUALLY SPEND A NICE AFTERNOON WITH A LOVELY GENTLEMAN”, she responded dramatically over the line. I could almost hear her eyes roll over the ceiling.

“I don’t know him”.

“Of course you don’t. That’s the point. Time to put those negelected teenage hormones to use, Zaky”, she pointed out using her favorite nickname. “You’re how old? You need to go out there and I don’t know, date or something? You totally blew it with Ville Valo which was a total hottie –“

I sighed. She actually did some research with the miniscule information I provided her and was able to dig up some info with his band, despite their exclusive popularity within Europe. I got some actual useless information about the Valo spawn and his music as Erin had chattered on about them the first half of our hour long talk and I believe she was developing a groupie obsession which was never healthy.

“My point is”, she continued, after the tirade of how handsome and cool Ville was, “do not be afraid, girl. You’re now in a different place, it’s time for you to do something different, ya hear me? Do something crazy”.

“You know, I don’t do crazy. That’s your field”.

“Haha.” She sighed. “I totally miss you, Zaky. It’s just less dull and gloomy here without you around”.

“Wow, gee thanks, Erin. That really made my day”.

She laughed. “Seriously though, I miss you. Stop fretting around and actually do something, I don’t know, spontaneous”.

“Yes will do that. Been doing that here everyday, non stop. As you can see”, I deadpanned.

Another laughter. “Well, gotta go. Finance may actually headhunt me for the long distance call. Please, please for the love of all the cosmos, write to me regularly. I want to know if you’re still alive or something”.

I chuckled at that. “Yeah sure. Keep the light of astrophysics burning in there. Or whatever it is you’re doing”.

“Sure, sure make fun of my field. I’ll name my next asteroid discovery after you”.

“Please don’t”.

“Hush, hush. Au revoir!” Followed by some crazy laughter and then she hung up.

It actually made me feel better, talking with Erin and actually hearing someone familiar. She had been a positive force in my life, actually letting me open up a bit and have a normal friendship with someone close my age. We met when I started out my tenure in the Uni and she had stuck with me since then. We were total opposites: her, the hippie and the cool one, and me. My father adored her, and she was like an older sister, always teasing but always supportive.

My thoughts were plagued by the memories of my father and Erin that I had not realized I was in front of my apartment building. It was late in the evening in the still cold mid-March, as I was stuck finishing up the final drafts of my research at the institute. I haven’t got the time to really enjoy Helsinki thus far, with the busy schedule at my work and the lack of company. My peers were all friendly but none had really invited me to any after work activities. Well except of course the fateful coffee invitation from Dr. Clair the other day. It was a bit lonely, I gotta admit. I resolved myself that I will be more outgoing and somehow get into the whole get to know more people vibe, but almost a couple of months in and I had run away from the first person to actually offer me a date of some sort.

Releasing a heavy sigh, I went inside the apartment building and was instantly apprehensive. The hallway was gloomier than usual, with the flourescent lights flickering. I was like inside a bad horror movie and as I checked my watch, it was almost one in the morning. Great. I quickened my pace and searched for the apartment keys inside my messenger bag, not minding where I was walking.

My foot caught on something hard and unable to catch my balance, I braced myself for a hard fall into the cold ground. Instead, I landed on top of something solid yet soft with a loud “oompph”. The wind was knocked off my chest and for a moment, I could hardly catch my breath. I then realized that I landed on what seemed to be a pile of clothes that smelled of beer. Also, this pile of clothes was moving and _coughing_. I immediately scrambled to sit up and realized I was sitting on top of another person’s chest. And not just any person.

  
Ville Valo.

 

Just like a remake of one of the most embarassing days in my life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus. Life happened and I somehow lost the drafts for the whole thing so I contemplated of leaving the story for a while. I realized though that I love the story and we cannot leave OC feeling all mortified, can we? :) As always, this is unbetad so please excuse any lapses with the grammar and stuff. And reviews are greatly appreciated :)


	7. Getting to Know Each Other

This was not happening.

 

I scrambled away on all fours until my back was against the wall, as far away as I could manage from his reach. He seemed to be in pain, judging from the coughing and occasional moans I could hear underneath the coat and thick scarves covering his neck and face.  It appeared he took no notice of me, nor gave any indication that a person just randomly fell on top of him. He just moved to lay on his side and was silent once again.

 

My mind was not processing what I was seeing. What was he doing here? Have I gone mental? Was the incident in their house so traumatic I was beginning to hallucinate bizarre encounters with this man?

 

I hurriedly grabbed my keys which landed a few inches away from his head and noticed he was lying a few feet away from my apartment door. Was this his apartment? Is that why Anita and Kari were both adamant I take this place? Should I leave? Why was he not moving? Was he hurt? Was he... _dead_?

 

So many questions and I couldn't even think straight.

 

I cautiously moved in a bit closer and leaned in to peek at his face, to check whether he was still breathing or not. I owe Anita and her delicious _Mustikkapiirakka_ that. 

 

His eyes were closed, face tinged red and reeking of alcohol. Figures. He was passed out drunk.

 

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes at the too familiar scene, I scrambled up to my feet and crossed the few steps to my apartment. I went inside and locked the door behind me. I made my decision: he was not my problem and I had no obligations whatsoever to nurse him back sober so he could go home. He was a grown man, probably had gone on hundreds of dates unlike a certain person I know (me), and he could sleep wherever he likes. I'll leave all the important questions for another day.

A couple of coffee and a number of cigarette butts later, I was still wide awake. I tossed and turned on my bed, and when thats not enough, I pored over my equations. I honestly did try to find the Valos home number at my organized mess of a desk as a sign of good faith, but that seemed elusive too. I peered outside twice, hoping that somehow he had gotten himself together and disapperead, but he was still laying there, unmoving. It was getting progressively cold too, and even though he's a Finn, I doubt that even his bundle of scarves could protect his thin frame.

 

My father didn't raise no irresponsible citizen, and seeing no other option lest I become responsible for his death . With a sigh and unhappy disposition on what I was about to do, I put on my trusty brown sweater and marched outside. As expected, he was still fast asleep. I tried poking him with my toes through my woolen socks, hard, but that was only met with disgruntled noises and random shooing hand movements. I contemplated on kicking him hard but even I am not that heartless.

 

"Ville", I called his name and tried shaking him hard.   He won't budge. "Ville"

 

"Go away", he mumbled, voice hoarse.

 

At least we're getting answers now. "I wanted to, really. But you might die here".

 

"Good."

 

Okaaay. Wow. We got some pretty serious issues here.

 

I tried to be diplomatic. "Well, thats nice and all that.. but you really should go home".

 

No response. I tried again. "Ville".

 

After what seemed like forever, he slowly turned and laid flat on his back. His half-lidded eyes sought mine and I could tell he was trying hard to focus on the stranger sitting beside him in the cold hallway. He tried to sit up and after many attempts, he successfully managed to lean his back against the wall with his long legs sprawled in front of him. He looked around rather blearily and not finding whatever he was looking for, he looked back at me and asked, "Who er you?"

 

Thankfully, he couldn't remember me. "An angel, as you can see", I deadpanned.

 

He smirked at that and leaned his head back, lazily studying me under his lashes.  "I didn't know enkeli wore brown sweaters... and glasses", he murmured followed by a low chuckle.

 

"Yeah.. heh heh funny that. So, uh, you think you can go home on your own, now?"

 

He nodded, and lowered his head.

 

"Ville?"

 

He just sat still, head bowed so low his chin was almost touching his chest. Exasperated with not knowing what to do, I inched closer and prodded his chest with my finger.

 

"Hey. Where do you live? Should I call a cab? Or can you promise not to freeze to death here?" Anything to get this party going.

 

He looked up and stared at me with half opened eyes, as if thinking hard. He then reached inside his coat and groped for something in his pockets. After much fumbling, his hand returned with a key ring. He dangled them in one finger in front of me.

 

I took them and studied the assortment of keys. I found one identical to mine, with a hastily scrawled 1B on its head. Surprise, surprise. He lives in the apartment across mine. Or perhaps the roomie of the guy with the nose ring from weeks ago? I tried knocking at the apartment door earlier but no one answered. I was totally alone in this endeavor.

 

Ville, bleary eyed and with a foolish loop sided grin smacked on his face, managed to stand up and braced himself against the wall."Enkeli, help me", he called out to me and then chuckled to himself. He proceeded to take a few woozy steps towards his apartment door, swayed and lost his balance. I managed to grab him by the right arm, barely keeping him upright. Now, Ville was a tall guy, and I mean really _tall_ compared to my 5'2 feet. He's not a lightweight either, even with his thin frame. So preventing a man almost a foot taller than me and swaying all over the place from falling, with me possibly along with it, was not something I had in mind for Friday night.

 

The journey of getting him to the safety confines of his apartment was not easy. His key kept on getting stuck and cursing the door, the alcohol and my conscience, it took me longer than necessary to get it open. All the while, Ville was resting his chin atop my head, both his arms bracing his full weight against the door frame. I swore he was sleeping, from the occassional snore I could hear. It would have looked comical if not for the fact I was an unwilling participant in all of this. I hoped some of my wayward hair get stuck to his nose.

 

I managed to finally open the door and true to what I predicted, as soon as I stepped away, he fell face first to the floor. He grunted in pain and rolled over his back, apparently too dizzy still to get his bearings together. What the hell was this man drinking?

 

The room was pitch dark and smelled faintly musty. Expecting nothing out of the ordinary but some artsy decor, I felt for the light switch and flicked it. Was I wrong. It was chaos.

 

There were vinyl records, casette tapes and papers scattered all over the wooden floor. There's a lot of guitars and what seemed to be empty beer bottles and cans scattered around the apartment - was that a bike in the corner? - and a lot of what seemed to be a week's worth of thrash from various dinner take outs. It looked like an abandoned hoarders place, except living in it was the man now still passed out behind me. I had half the mind to dump him somewhere inside his apartment and be on my merry way, not wanting to step into some poor animal somewhere. I was a woman on a mission however  and would see this through until the end. 

 

Not bothering to wake him up again, I grabbed his arm with two hands and dragged him inside. I spied a little black cot and pushing off what seemed to be used clothing and empty beer cans, I half carried and half dragged his body on top of it.

 

Catching my breathe, I studied my handiwork. Ville was laying spread eagle on his own cot, unmoving. I turned to leave, my good samaritan work over and hoping I could finally sleep.  I was halfway towards the door when I heard Ville coughing up hard. I hurriedly approached and saw his chest hitching fast. I could hear some burp and gurgling sound from the back of his throat.

 

"Shit".  He seemed to be choking on his own vomit. People could actually be too sedated with alcohol in their system, making their gag reflex lax that they can choke on their own vomit, and sometimes have them breathe it down to their lungs. Death by asphyxiation, not a good thing.

 

"Shit".

 

I was not a medical doctor but remembering the basics of first aid I read somewhere, I turned his body to its side and put his head closer to the edge of the bed. Sure enough, he started coughing out whatever he did consume the night prior. I wont go into details but by all the dying stars in the universe, he did drink a lot of alcohol.

 

It was gonna be a long night.


End file.
